One of the fantasies I employ while writing here at the Imperfect Parent (and also when I write at CrankMama), is the dream that once in awhile you hardworking imperfectionists will laugh and feel better about yourselves (or at least better than me) after reading.
To this end, I’ve created this handy list for you. Start your superiority complex engines:
On childrearing & domestic duties…
1. How often my children eat vegetables – once a week
2. Frequency of bathroom cleaning – once every 4 – 6 weeks
3. What we had for dinner tonight – waffles with peanut butter (Them), quiche (Us)
4. How often I swear around my children, despite half-assed (see?) attempts to stop – daily
On being a good wife…
5. Ratio of compliments given to hubs versus received by him – 1/20
6. Frequency of sex – not going to tell but it would make you feel superior if you knew
7. Who me?
On losing and gaining weight after having V…
8. Gained 43, lost 40, gained 8 more = 11 pounds more to love
9. See #7 above
On being high maintenance…
10. Number of hair products, ungents, pills, potions, hours of sleep, hugs, and kisses it takes me to begin each day – 1500